Dear Kiantha: Help is available for struggling parents

Dear Kiantha,

I am a young single mother. I have three boys ages 8, 6 and 3. I am struggling to take care of them financially. I wonder if I should give them up so they can have a better life. I love my kids and don’t know what my life would be like without them, but I want the best for them, and I am not sure I am what is best for them.

Dear Friend,

I became a mother at 16. I struggled in the first years of my son’s life to take care of him financially. I depended on government subsidies like Aid to Families with Dependent Children (welfare) a whopping $440 dollars a month, WIC (the supplemental nutrition program for woman, infants and children) and a few other programs available to families living in poverty.

I remember furnishing my first apartment with items I had received through a voucher for used furniture from St. Vincent DePaul, a nonprofit organization that distributed donated furnishings to families living in poverty. I literally had nothing but love to give to my son.

With all the love I had in my heart for my child, I, too, had moments of wondering if I was suitable to be his mother and contemplated if he would be better off with a family that could better provide for his needs. I wanted a better life for him, even better than the life I had had up until that point. In those moments of fear and feelings of failure (because of my lack of resources) I would remind myself that if I had more, I would never consider anyone else more suited to take care of the child I gave birth to.

I say that to say, access any and all supports and resources available to you if you have not already done so. Typically, resources for families living in poverty are limited and not always easily accessible however there are many that exist to help you jump-start your future.

Resources to families living in poverty are limited to funding availability, so accessing them must also be coupled with a long-term plan for your family’s future. I am here to tell you that you can do it. You can create the life you want for you and your children. I believe in you and so do your children.

In this moment I understand that you may not feel that you are the best place for your babies, but where you are today is not where you will always be.

Don’t give up on yourself or your children. Life gets better.

Soul to soul,

Kiantha

Dear Kiantha can be read every other Friday.

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