Dear Annie: Never ’coulda, ’woulda, ’shoulda yourself

Dear Annie: I don’t think your reader should regret, after 49 years, not going to the private college he wanted to attend.

I applied to two private universities after graduating near the top of my class, with volunteer experience and having participated in the many programs offered by my high school. I specifically applied to one college because my history teacher was an alumnus and recommended I do so. We were both surprised when I did not get accepted. She looked into the matter, and it turned out that the vice principal had given me a negative recommendation. I’ll never know why. For quite a few years, I felt quite hurt by her action.

Later, with the wisdom of experience, I could see that my life turned out fine with the college I did graduate from. I met my future husband there. Sometimes the paths diverge and we never know which was the “right” one. All the things we do lead us to the place we are now. We could have made many different choices. It is up to us individually to choose and honor our experiences. “Coulda, woulda, shoulda” is never a fulfilling experience. Thanks for all your good advice. – Happened for a Reason

Dear Happened for Reason: Your letter shows that you learned a very valuable life lesson through your college experience. Sometimes we might think we know exactly what we want, and then we don’t get it. We might be disappointed at the time, but God – or, for those who prefer, the Universe – has better plans for us.

When disappointment hits, it is important to remember the bigger picture and realize that the reason behind it is greater than we can imagine at the time.