Annie’s Mailbox: Parents fight night after night

Dear Annie: I am 13 years old. My parents have been fighting for as long as I can remember. It’s not physical, but it is loud, sarcastic and rude, and they don’t seem to notice that it affects me, as well as my older siblings. They fight every night and it seems to be getting worse.

My father is really hard to get along with, and he is a huge control freak and really cheap with money. My mother is the opposite about money, and she spends a lot. My dad is usually the one who starts the fights.

Neither of them thinks there is a problem, but there is. Even after 20 years of being married, they just can’t get along. I don’t know what to do, Annie. They won’t listen to me, they won’t stop screaming at each other, and every single thing we do as a family ends with them fighting. – Distressed Daughter

Dear Distressed: Your parents have fallen into a pattern of behavior that has been going on for so long that they no longer realize how detrimental it is to their marriage and to their children. We won’t get into the likely reasons for the constant bickering, but we can tell you that in order to change this behavior, they probably need third-party intervention, meaning a counselor or clergyperson. Since they won’t listen to you, please enlist the help of a trusted adult. Even your school counselor or a favorite teacher might be able to get through to your parents, so they can recognize how damaging such behavior is for you. And talking to one of these adults will also help you find some emotional support for yourself.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, in care of Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.