Cleaning can be manly
Dads, have you ever made the bed for your little person, only to be told, “That’s not how Mommy does it”?
Your child probably didn’t get that you made the bed in your special dad’s way.
That’s why David Bowers wrote “Dad’s Own Housekeeping Book” (Workman Publishing, 196 pages, $10.95). The chuckle-filled guide is packed with guy-to-guy advice on how to keep a home neat, tidy – and manly.
As a stay-at-home dad of two sons, Bowers does a little more housekeeping than the average Joe. Bowers always did the cooking, and would help his wife with cleanup whenever he could. But as he took on more responsibility for the entire home, Bowers said, he couldn’t find a resource that spoke to men about cleaning.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics in 2004, 33 percent of men do some kind of household chore every day. But Bowers says most don’t know how to do them.
“So many men haven’t been taught about housekeeping,” he says in his lilting Irish accent. A native of Dublin, Ireland, Bowers lives in New York City.
He says that women take their knowledge of some housekeeping duties for granted, “like doing laundry with all the symbols.” In the book, Bowers decodes the meanings of the little graphics that appear on some clothing tags.
Getting along with women is another reason Bowers thinks dads should learn to be good housekeepers.
“It makes the relationship better,” he said. “Most women are happy just knowing that you are trying to help out.”
Q. What is the “dad’s way” of housekeeping?
A. If the guy is looking after the house, he doesn’t have to fold towels a certain way. Men and women have different approaches. That doesn’t mean either is wrong. Guys are much more minimalist. That’s something that has to be compromised.
Q. How much should dads clean?
A. It varies from guy to guy. You can’t kill yourself cleaning because that makes it unpleasant. It should be something you should pick up as you feel comfy, and most women are happy to know that you’re trying.
Q. Moms still do most of the housework. How do they get dads to do more?
A. Dads have to talk to their spouses, and Moms have to say, “You have to help me out.” It has to be helpful pushing. And guys respond to praise. The last thing he wants is a woman looking over his shoulder to see if something is done. If there is animosity attached to housekeeping, it isn’t going to help the relationship.
Q. Can dads clean as well as moms?
A. Men can be cleaner than women. Look at the ultimate example of guy cleaning: the military. It’s an extreme example, but beds and everything have to be done a certain way. It shows that men respond to a routine. A lot of guys respond to making a system. That’s why I suggest doing five-minute cleanups, half-hour cleanups, because (a guy) can scrub for all that time and then sit.
Q. What’s your best cleaning advice?
A. If you see something lying around, pick it up. Don’t let it just sit there. The best tip overall is to set priorities about what chores you are willing to do, make a list and follow it, and take those steps room by room. And it is great if both (spouses) are helping.