Unclear why they remain pals

Dear Annie: I have been best friends with “Beth” for 13 years, even though she demands that things be done her way, when she wants, with no debate.

Lately, I am having a hard time understanding why we are friends. I go to church and have religious beliefs. Beth has no desire to pray. I’ve been happily married to the same man for 15 years. Beth has spent her whole marriage cheating on her husband. I’ve always come to Beth’s rescue, being the best friend I could possibly be, but I can count on one hand the number of times she has been there for me.

I don’t approve of Beth’s extramarital affairs, but her husband is an alcoholic and verbally abusive, so I agreed to meet “Dave,” her latest boyfriend. He turned out to be very kind and attentive to Beth’s needs. My husband and I like him very much. The problem? Beth is now walking all over him.

Beth recently gave Dave my cell phone number, and we’ve had many talks about ways to improve his relationship with her. Now Beth is angry that we are talking so much and insists I cut him off. I recently found out Beth is into swinger parties and threesomes, and Dave confided that Beth wants me to join in. This absolutely disgusts me, and my husband says he no longer wants her around our home. I feel she has no respect for my marriage or our friendship.

I do care about Beth – she can be lots of fun – and I love her son as my own. Am I compromising my morals by being her friend? – Angered and Disgusted in Pennsylvania

Dear Angered: Not as long as it is crystal clear that you don’t approve of her shenanigans. We aren’t sure why you wish to remain so close to a woman who disgusts you, but that’s your choice. We advise making the friendship a little more distant and finding other “best friends” to fill the void.

Dear Annie: I ended up in the emergency room last month with a painful medical condition and will need surgery next week. I’ve never had surgery before, and it’s very stressful for me and my family.

When my husband told his boss he would be out the day of my operation, the boss asked, “Why? Are you going to be assisting the doctor?” How can someone be so mean to a person who is already worried? I don’t understand. – Didn’t Need This

Dear Didn’t Need: Your husband’s boss is one of those people who think work comes before everything else. We hope your husband ignored him.