The Slice: Sounds like the 12 dogs of Christmas

Do you hear what I hear?

It doesn’t take place every holiday season.

But a couple of times in the last few years, something magical has happened.

I’ll be out walking. And several dogs will start barking at me.

There’s nothing unusual about that, of course. The yapping and growling of dogs is Spokane’s unofficial anthem. If you go anywhere on foot around here, you are going to hear it.

But every once in a while, when the stars are properly aligned, a few seconds of the canine serenade will sound exactly like the start of the singing dogs’ novelty-record version of “Jingle Bells.”

I’m not kidding.

You know. “Woof woof woof, woof woof woof. Woof woof WOOF woof WOOF.”

Once, the live multidog performance seemed to go on for several measures.

OK, maybe it was partly in my imagination. But I don’t think so.

If it wasn’t real, why would I still remember it?

Perhaps this is akin to that statistics and probability question once posed on a Bob Newhart album. If you had an infinite number of chimps and an infinite number of typewriters, would one of the chimps eventually type a passage from one of the great works of literature?

In other words, if you had an infinite number of dogs (Spokane) and an infinite number of people walking by them, would a few of these pooches eventually bark out “Jingle Bells”?

Well, I think I already know the answer. I’m confident about what I heard.

But I invite you to keep your ears open between now and Christmas. And if you hear something memorable, give me a call.

This could be a big story.

But please. Let’s not have any calls from crackpots claiming to have heard marmots or squirrels belting out “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late).”

This is serious scientific inquiry here.

Woof woof Woof Woof WOOF.

“Jargon patrol: “Perhaps your readers can enlighten me on the correct use of the terms ‘ratchet up’ and ‘ramp up,’ ” wrote Tip Boynton of Rathdrum. “Oh, yeah. My wife is curious about ‘kick it up another notch.’ “

Sure, Tip. I’ll ask. But offhand, those all sound like expressions that would be popular with individuals who spend a lot of time in meetings.

“Right in the eye: So the other day, I was undergoing a retinal exam. You know, the kind where the doctor shines an incredibly bright light directly through your dilated pupil. It’s no fun.

Anyway, right in the middle of the proceedings, I had a thought: This is a lot like being in traffic at night and having high-profile vehicles approaching in the oncoming lane.

“Today’s Slice question: When members of your family mention “Topic A,” to what are they referring?