Safer surfing

Every once in a while, Detective Curt Kendall of the Spokane Police Department becomes a little boy again. He creates a profile of, say, a 13-year-old on AOL or Yahoo! and posts it. Soon enough the instant messages and e-mails begin appearing on his screen. Most are innocent, other like-minded youngsters wanting to talk about music or skateboarding. Some are not. Within a few e-mails strangers are asking about the sexual history and preferred techniques of someone they believe to be a young teenager. Kendall continues feeding them lines, as too many real youngsters do, until the solicitor is hooked.

They set up a meeting and, if the perpetrator shows, he or she will be arrested for soliciting sex from a minor or some other relevant charge. Kendall tells of a sting by a private agency where 60 men showed up for a “date” with a teenager.

Internet filters for computers can do much to keep children away from pornography on the Web, but it takes direct parental involvement to protect them from online predators. Just as every child is thoroughly instructed not to take candy from strangers before being allowed to venture into the neighborhood alone, kids must be taught defensive strategies to keep them safe on the Internet.

“Parents need to talk to them about it,” Kendall said. “Don’t just say, ‘Don’t go there.’ Explain things out further.”

Tell them why it’s important to avoid certain sites and chat rooms, he said, as well as the potential consequences of becoming involved with people met online.

“They might as well give them a road map, this is my phone number, where I live, when I’m available,” Kendall said of the information many children post about themselves on the Web. “Don’t use your real first and last (name), address, school. Just avoid having too many identifiers.”

“There is a set pattern of who wants to meet, to talk sex or have online sex. You can tell from the pattern where they’ll be heading. It starts with ‘Are you a virgin?’ those sort of things,” Kendall said. “If they start talking about sex or things that make you feel uncomfortable, you probably shouldn’t be talking to them.”

Predators may also try to contact children by phone. Youngsters who have been schooled not to give out their numbers have been known accept the phone number of strangers and call them. Caller ID makes it easy for predators to then call back at any time, so parents should be sure to monitor long distance bills and caller ID records for unfamiliar numbers. According to the FBI’s Parent Guide to Internet Safety, predators will also send gifts and cards as part of the seduction process, so parents should watch for those things as well.

A child who is becoming involved with an online predator will often become increasingly withdrawn and will try to hide what they are doing on the computer by quickly shutting it off or standing in front of the screen when a parent enters the room, experts say. Even if not a sign of an inappropriate relationship, it’s a sure fire indicator that they’re up to something that should be investigated.

One of the easiest ways to keep children safe is to limit usage and access. “Have the computer in the living room; don’t let them have it in their room,” Kendall said. Simple curiosity will lead children to places they shouldn’t go and they’re less likely to do so if mom or dad could walk by at any moment.

According to the Pew Internet & American Life Project, nearly two thirds of parents report checking what sites their children visit. It’s very easy to see what sites children have been on although you won’t be able to view what they are writing in chat rooms and such.

“Parents need to be aware of what their kids are doing. Ultimately, they are responsible for what their kids are doing on the Internet,” Kendall said.