The Hot Seat A Weekly Look At People In The News
White House unleashes secret weapon on Chinese
White House Chief of Staff Leon Panetta has gained the upper hand in the war of nerves raging with China. But Panetta won’t talk about his brainstorm. “That’s something I’m not going to tell you or the country,” he told reporters. But Hot Seat sources have discovered that Panetta ordered hundreds of jet skis launched into the Strait of Taiwan. Swarms of jet-skis have been buzzing the Chinese fleet all week. Radio dispatches monitored by secret Hot Seat coast watchers indicate the Chinese sailors are highly agitated and ready to sail away to escape the noisy nuisances.
Today’s lesson: “Dealing with blowhards” by Professor Steve Hasson
It seems Spokane County Commissioner John Roskelley is being routinely panned by some critic during the public forum at commission meetings. Roskelley wants restrictions placed on the speakers but other Commissioners hate the idea. Professor Hasson calls the critic “a gentle and kind and nice and,” blah, blah, blah. Hasson knows you don’t a handle a heckler with a muzzle; you kill them with kindness. Roskelley should pretend he’s listening to this critic and scribble a bunch of notes. Do a lot of vigorous eyebrow raising. Thank him for his interest. When the critic realizes he can’t upset the commission, he’ll go away.
Spokane: the country’s fifth best flock of letter carriers
A recent audit of postal delivery service shows that letter carriers in Spokane are in the top five in the country. In spite of vicious dogs, housewives in peasant dresses, and homeowners who set their sprinklers to shower the mailbox at delivery time these brave men and women get the mail out on time. Local Postal Poobahs didn’t return a reporter’s calls for comment, so The Hot Seat went directly to Valley mailguy Ron Doberts. He explained, “delivering the mail is my life.” Amen.
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 Photos
MEMO: The Hot Seat is an irreverent look at controversial issues in the news. The views expressed are those of the writer. Today’s Hot Seat was written by Scott Sines.