Men, Check Your Dating Potential
Dear Readers: I am on vacation, but I have left behind some of my favorite columns that you may have missed the first time around. I hope you enjoy them. - Ann Landers
Dear Ann Landers: You are undoubtedly aware of the revival of the old chain-letter concept in the form of a pyramid. I thought you might be interested in the one I received for my birthday. I sent it on - in two languages. Here it is to share with your readers. - Still Laughing in Lima, Peru
Dear Lima: Chain letters can be illegal in the United States, but yours is different because it involves no money. Thanks for passing it on.
“This chain letter was started by a woman like yourself, in the hope of bringing relief to tired, discontented wives. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy to five of your female friends who are equally tired. Then, bundle up your husband, and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list. Add your name to the bottom of the list. When your name comes to the top, you will receive 16,748 men. Some of them will be dandies. Have faith, and don’t break the chain. One woman who broke the chain got her own husband back. At the time of this writing, a friend of mine has received 183 men. They buried her yesterday, but it took three undertakers 36 hours to get the smile off her face.”
Dear Ann Landers: Your mind must have gone on vacation before your body did. That guy who hasn’t had a date since his divorce 10 years ago told you he thought women were only interested in a man’s looks. You told him he sounded terrific and to hang in there because someday the right woman would come along.
Why didn’t you tell him the same thing you tell women who can’t get a date - that something about him must turn them off? Here’s a list of questions for him:
1. Are you well-groomed? A lot of men who feel they aren’t handsome give up on their looks entirely. Do you bathe and change your clothes regularly? Is your hair clean? Are you still wearing the glasses you had in high school?
2. Are you sensible about diet and exercise? A 300-pound couch potato isn’t going to attract a lot of women.
3. Do you talk about yourself all evening and never ask a question?
4. Are you informed about world affairs, or do you read only the sports page?
5. Is your idea of a “fun evening” four hours in front of the tube with a six-pack?
6. Are you self-centered and stubborn? Do you insist on having your way and grumble if you don’t get it?
7. Can you discuss an issue in a civilized manner and perhaps even admit you were wrong once in a while?
8. Do you come off looking desperate? It’s a standard assumption that women want to get married and men avoid commitment, but it’s been my experience that often the opposite is true. Most women will be scared off by a man too eager to marry, especially if he is divorced.
Finally, this guy reads the personal ads looking for a woman. Tell him to get a life. He should become involved in church or community affairs, a club or a charity. A man who expects his girlfriend to provide him with a social life is no prize. - Highly Dubious in Santa Fe, N.M.
Dear H.D.: Right on. Thanks for sitting in my chair today.
xxxx