The Hot Seat 1996: The Year In Preview

Here are some stories we expect to see in 1996

Steve Hasson dislocates his shoulder while waving at cars and blames the injury for his loss in the November election. Incorporation of the Valley finally happens as a four-square-block area votes to become the city of Chief Joseph McKinnon. The Spokane City Council resolves the public forum fiasco and pacifies Science Center proponents at the same time by replacing the rowdy forum with the Mr. Wizard Science Show.

For the Democrats it’ll be deja vu all over again

The government shutdown enters its 273rd day as House Speaker Newt Gingrich refuses to talk to the President, who made bunny ears behind Gingrich during the State of the Union speech. Clinton’s popularity nosedives after he suffers a flashback during a trip to Britain, dons a headband and begins protesting U.S. involvement in Bosnia. Both of the remaining Democrats in the House of Representative vote for term limits but the bill is defeated 498-2.

The Republican Revolution will continue to revolt

Helen Chenoweth gets her wish and heads to Bosnia to replace fourteen GI’s. As she exits the plane a gust of wind ruins her ‘do, forcing the freedom-fighting female to return to the States. She receives the Congressional Medal of Honor for her effort. Alphonse D’Amato is dropped from the Whitewater investigation and replaced by G. Gordon Liddy and Larry Nichols. Liddy and Nichols clear the Clintons of all wrongdoing, claiming that the first couple don’t have the brains to make the complex decisions involved in the scandal.

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MEMO: The Hot Seat is an irreverent look at controversial issues in the news. The views expressed are those of the writer. Today’s Hot Seat was written by Scott Sines.