Angering the Travel Gods
Once again I have managed to incur the wrath of the travel gods. I don't know exactly what I have done to awaken their animosity, but as of late they have been throwing everything they've got at me. And then some.
Upon arrival in Iraq, I was issued a ten day tourist visa. All that needed doing to extend this permit was for my sponsor to file with immigration- a fairly mundane task. But apparently one that slipped through the cracks. Four times I reminded them that my visa had run out and four times the miniscule fact that I was now staying in the country illegally was forgotten amid more important matters.
The night before leaving the country, I reminded them one more time. With a sense of urgency. My question was, "So when I go through airport immigration tomorrow, will they arrest me or just charge a hefty fine?" And while I didn't savor the prospect of Iraqi jail, I wasn't completely put out at the thought as it would have provided some interesting material to write about.
Fortunately, my phrasing raised the right alarm bells. With some last minute scrambling and several phone calls, the problem worked itself out as I was on my way to the airport. And just to make sure I wasn't held up at immigration, a friend called a friend who called a friend (the most effective way to accomplish anything in the Middle East) and I was given an escort through to the boarding area. And while I had become legal just before arriving at the airport, I must admit I was a little concerned the paperwork hadn't been filed and I would be writing my next post from a tiny little cell. I wonder if they have WiFi in there?
Finally on the flight, winging my way towards Dubai, I thought the worst of my travel concerns were over. All that was left was to wait out my interminably long layover in Dubai, then catch my flight to Cairo for some serious R&R. Oh, why can't life be so easy?
I landed in Dubai at 6 PM, retrieved my luggage and walked out of Terminal 2 to find a taxi. My plan was to sit out the eight hour layover at Mugg & Bean, my favorite cafe in Dubai. But somehow, none of the cab drivers I found knew what I was talking about, and I hadn't thought to bring the address with me. Hmf. Settling for a ride to Terminal 1, I plunked down in the squishy chairs at Costa Coffee (a good alternative) and started reading my newly acquired book, Eat, Pray, Love (so far highly entertaining).
Six hours later I wandered down to the check-in counter of Singapore Airlines. While I had booked my ticket through Delta, they don't fly Dubai-Cairo, so they booked me on the Singapore flight. Or so I thought.
Attempting to check-in quickly bred a whole new dimension to my understanding of horrid customer service. According to the Singapore agent, Delta had never sent my reservation through, and now the flight was full. Yes, he could see I had a ticket, yes, he could see I'd paid for my ticket (it would have been hard for him not to see this as I was shoving my paperwork in his face at this point), but no, there was nothing he could do. The flight was full, I didn't have a seat. "Sorry."
I offered to take the jump seat, sit in the co-pilot's seat, basically take any empty space on the flight, but no. "Only airline employees can use the jump seat." He didn't even acknowledge my co-pilot seat suggestion.
Getting directions to the Delta office, I worked my way out past security, back upstairs and through the maze of offices. Finally finding Delta, I calmly and coolly demanded they get me on the Singapore flight. After several calls, they told me it wasn't going to happen. But Egypt Air had a flight an hour and a half later that might work. More calls, more waiting. I had to call and wake my friends in Cairo and tell them not to pick me up since I had no idea when (or if) I'd be landing in Egypt. There was one more flight tonight (this morning), and then nothing for another thirteen hours.
Finally, at 2 AM, I'm told to see someone at the Egypt Air counter. I was given a ticket and told, "They will take care of your flight." Promising! I head down to the counter only to be told that they would put me on standby, but they were overbooked and couldn't confirm availability for at least another hour. I slipped my Egypt Air Plus Silver Member card on the counter to no avail- I had to wait until check-in was over.
Defeated (and exhausted), I marched back to the Delta office to have a word about ping-ponging me around, and maybe put in a call to the US office. I had already been kicked off one flight, didn't have any confirmed prospects for getting out of Dubai, and hadn't been offered any kind of compensation- not even a food voucher. And then the holy mother of all crap customer service reared her ugly head. When I got back to the Delta office, I found I had been locked out. While I was distracted by the Egypt Air desk, the Delta agents had locked up and gone home. I was stranded at the airport without a flight out, a hotel room or any hope that someone would be my champion in this morass of airline fubars.
Waiting the interminable hour until Egypt Air could confirm their standby passengers, I went back to the check-in desk, assumed the most puppy-dog pathetic look I could, and held my breath while the agent confirmed my seat. So far, so good. There's a seat available. Handing over the ticket Delta had given me before they buggered off, I felt more confident that I wouldn't be permanently residing in Dubai. She started to check me in and then asked, "Where's your fem?" ???? What's a fem? She can't translate the word for me, isn't sure how to phrase it in English, but makes it clear that without a 'fem', I don't get a boarding pass.
As best as I can figure, the 'fem' is equivalent to a voucher from Delta guaranteeing payment to Egypt Air for my passage. But Delta had omitted this from my paperwork, and now they've gone home. Great. Ten people and an hour later, we still hadn't made any progress. The intercom announced boarding of the flight, and I almost broke down. It's now after 4 AM, I'm exhausted, frustrated and just want to get OUT OF DUBAI!!!
As the Egypt Air manager tells me for the final time that I will not be allowed on their plane, one of the agents takes pity on me and fetches the head of the airport. This lovely man demands that Egypt Air let me on their flight, and then proceeds to stand over them until my boarding pass is issued. This takes time as there is more discussion about the 'fem', but eventually my luggage is tagged (oh please make it to Cairo!) and the boarding pass prints out. Grabbing it and bolting before anyone can change their mind, I run through immigration, another security checkpoint, the tunnel connecting the main building to the actual terminal, up the escalator, up the elevator, down the corridor and into the gate (this sprinting through the airport thing has got to stop). At twenty to five, shoving my boarding pass at the agent, I was trying to catch my breath when I almost choked on their question, "Where's your fem?"
I am happy to report that I arrived safely in Cairo, was welcomed by my friends with a much needed Bloody Mary, and then proceeded to sleep 14 straight hours. I haven't had any further contact with Delta, though we will be having a little chat when I get back to the States. And I would like to sincerely thank Egypt Air for allowing me on their flight (complications aside) when they carried no responsibility for my reservation and had not yet received payment for my passage.
Hopefully these recent travel hassles have appeased the gods and they will allow me to start over with a clean slate. I don’t think I can take much more of this!
